JL.

You say you really know me
But exactly how much of me do you really understand?

my new friend

Friday, July 15, 2011 / 2:23 AM

there comes a time, when you don't even know why you do the things you do. it becomes that of a habit than a significance. because somewhere along the line, it lost its meaning. you continue to do it for the sake of doing it. its when you realize that what you've been doing is something you've been convincing yourself that its the right thing to do. its the very thing that you've been trying hard bringing to reason that its the correct thing to do. trying to reason with yourself about it. about everything. trying to tell yourself that everything's alright. that everything's the same as it was before. but at the end of the day, its all a lie. who have you got to blame? no one but yourself.

Janette sat up on her bed with her curtain pushed aside. she checked to make sure that the door was locked. her lights are off, from her room, she could hear light snores from her parent's bedroom. checking her clock, it's nearing dawn. a few more hours till the sun would wake up and soon the rest of the world...

she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight, as if expecting her body to explode. her eyes swam in the darkness of the room as she felt her heart beat fast and beads of sweat lined her forehead. her cheeks felt damp and her hair matted on the side of her face. there was no way for her to fall back asleep. not with such a dream she had awoken from. shivering under her covers, she fought back more tears that threatened to fall. "time to be a big girl" she muttered under her breath. she wrapped her covers around her body and scooted over to see the view from her window.

the dark sky was still hanging heavy over the dimly lit streets down below. it was a clear night. she leaned towards the window frame, seeing her breath make fogs at the cool window pane... she closed her eyes and finally for the last time allowed tears to run freely down her face.

"so, do you know what's wrong?"

Janette's head whipped towards the door. it was locked. how did Kayla managed to enter? no matter, she's been doing that alot recently. how did Kayla entered the room she did not know. all she knew was Kayla had helped her so much in the past few months. it was amazing how much Janette had no idea about Kayla's background. neither did she bother. Kayla appeared in her bedroom a couple of months ago, though no one seems to know who Kayla was... Janette smiled stiffly through her wet cheeks and swollen eyes and as quickly as the smile came, it left. she slowly turned her head towards the window again.

"i dont know...", she whimpered. her lips trembling again as they did before. she barely felt arms around her shoulder as she saw Kayla came to her for a hug.

"It'll be over soon, Janette..."

"I don't know... I dont think i know anything anymore" Janette pushed her face into Kayla's shoulders as she sobbed on.

"just remember not to tell anyone about me..." Kayla smiled, "so Janette, tell me everything..."

Janette felt calmness wash through her as she disengaged herself from Kayla and told her everything she felt. Kayla watched her with anticipation and empathy. Janette let out every single frustration and emotion. it had taken her quite some time to notice how wet her face had become. no matter how hard she had tried, her tears never seemed to stop. she went on and on and on. still crying softly, Kayla gently laid her back down to bed and stroke her head, whispering, "It's alright Janette... i'm here, don't be scared alright? i'll stay with you throughout the night..."

with the slightest splash of sun ray on her face, Janette fluttered her eyelids open and found them extremely heavy and swollen. she could hear Kayla, but she couldnt see her anymore. "my dear Janette, stop crying, i'm right here, you can tell me everything..."