JL.

You say you really know me
But exactly how much of me do you really understand?

The monster inside of you

Sunday, August 21, 2011 / 1:38 PM

~~"THeives ! LIARS! CHeats! they're nothing but words, not promises. they're nothing but lies, not truths. what was once real, might now be fake. i dont know who to trust - no surprise there."~~

Everything pissed her off.

Everyone pissed her off.

Those who are close to her suffered her wrath and frustrations.

Janette couldn't hold it in any further. She'd exploded. She'd purge after every meal, and binge in between. it felt good for her, something she knew she was finally good at. She couldn't blow up at those who wasn't close to her, she just can't. But she did to those around her...

"What's that around your eyes?" Her sister would ask in disgust.

"Just shut up will you?!" She'd snap back. Anger raged through her like a fire in the woods.

"Mommmyyy!! Janette's eye looks gross!"

"Geeze will you just shut the freak up ?!" The fire within her quickly grew into an inferno.

"Janette?" Her mother would ask.

One gaze and Janette stormed away into the bathroom to do what she does best.

Little red dots will appear around and under her eyes, she checked it up, it wasn't a rash. It was just due to her purging. It had put loads of pressure on her eyes, popping the tiny blood vessels. A small price she paid to do what she was doing now.

Her mouth once more filled with the dirty feeling as she released everything out. Her body pumping with adrenaline as her stomach knotted out its fillings through the gullet and into the toilet. Snapping her head up she saw her reflection in the mirror. Gasping and panting for breath, she sniffed her nose and rubbed away the tears in her eyes from the purging. The girl in the reflection wasn't very pretty, she knew it was definitely her. For the first time she realized the dots around her eyes, the swelling of the nose, Janette ran back into her room and sat down, brusting into tears.

She rocked herself back and forth, comforting herself, "no one's perfect. no one's perfect."

A red line caught her eye as she cradled her left arm. It was still throbbing a dull pain since yesterday. A perfect, red, swollen line. The more she looked at it, the more she felt so angry, upset, frustrated. In her rage, she scratched away the top scab. Closing her mouth just in time to not let out a yelp of pain. Blood started to flow again. Blood mixed with tears. She concentrated on the pain of her arm. At least it was better than what she felt inside of her. A monster crept within her, ready to pounce out and show itself to the world. She sat there, silent, containing herself.

A bag of chips caught her eye, along with some candies, snacks, chocolates and drinks she had stuffed into her bag earlier. Gingerly, she reached out to it. Eating them ravishly just to purge them out again later...