You say you really know me
But exactly how much of me do you really understand?
who's the one confused now?
Wednesday, September 7, 2011 / 1:37 AM
there are many things in life that deceive you... how long does it take for a dog to bite back after it barks?
===========================================
Cold, shivering in her jacket, Janette sat on the chair in her library with her back towards the entrance. Lunch was at its first few moments and she was still savouring the silence of the library. In front of her lays her Kindle, opened to the page of the book she was reading. Her eyes stayed glued and focused toward the screen, but no words made sense to her. Words from her Kindle seemed to listlessly flow out and slap her one by one, not even giving her time to breathe. Janette's head swirled as her hands gripped the edges of the Kindle tighter.
Her head flashed back to the memory of her mother the day before :
"Janette, you know your dad doesn't want you to sleep in the afternoon because he says it affects your sleep at night..."
"Honestly mum. If it were that simple, I'd be snoring every night."
"Oh come on, Jane ! It IS that simple! Just give you a pillow and you'll sleep through the whole night!" Her mother laughed it off.
Janette could hardly hold on anymore, "You treat this as a joke don't you? You treat me as a joke right? Nothing i say ever made sense to you right? Nothing i say ever registers in your head right?!" Her head boiling over with rage and anger. Disbelief and hurt washed throughout her like a giant tsunami.
"Don't talk to me with that attitude!"
"You don't even know what it does to me! Do you?!"
"Jane, I am warning you! Stop being rude!" Her mother snapped.
"And yet you still complain that I don't share my stories with you." With one harsh gaze, Janette stormed pass her mother, only to put on a large smile to face her cousins and grandparents, her heart filled with hurt and washed over with betrayal.
She gasped as much air as she could as she recalled that memory. Tears stinging in her eyes, she caught a glimpse of her physics test. The one she had nearly failed. She caught a glimpse of her psychology test, the one she had barely passed. Confusion, frustration, anger, rage, hurt, disbelief, vexation rushed through her like nicotine and numbed her completely.
A jingle of a bag and footsteps allowed her to prepare herself to be cheerful once more. In comes Amanda, with the gloomiest of faces. "Hell no! They forgot me totally! They didn't even put my name into the list! I hate this school! I bloodly hell hate the teachers here!"
Other than smiling and patting Amanda, Jane was lost for words. Her heart still swirling with all those emotions, and here she is trying to comfort Amanda. Her tears stinging behind her eyes as she continued to soothe Amanda. By the end of the lunch period, the library had grown louder, irritating and frustration Janette further than she would have imagined. Breathing calmly and methodically, she kept her cool - however Amanda did not. She had complained to Janette all lunch long. The bell's ring had pierced through Janette's ears that momentarily, she had gone deaf.
Her hands moving in an automatic fashion, Janette slowly packed her things. Amanda this time didn't wait for her. Amanda simply walked by her an headed towards the exit. "Manda, wait up." Jane knew it was loud enough for Amanda to hear her. But Amanda didn't even turn around.
"Manda," Jane said again, loudly. Still Amanda didn't turn around. By the time Amanda got to the exit, Amanda didn't even check if Janette was following her or not. She just left. She left Janette feeling alone again. Her parents took her as a joke, her teachers didn't understand her, she was failing her subjects and her own best friend ignored her. She was tired from her lack of sleep, and still haunted by past nightmares. Janette excused herself into the bathroom and ran into a cubicle.
"What the hell..." She whispered. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed quietly, the thought of suicide playing softly at the back of her mind...
You say you really know me
But exactly how much of me do you really understand?
who's the one confused now?
Wednesday, September 7, 2011 / 1:37 AM
there are many things in life that deceive you... how long does it take for a dog to bite back after it barks?
===========================================
Cold, shivering in her jacket, Janette sat on the chair in her library with her back towards the entrance. Lunch was at its first few moments and she was still savouring the silence of the library. In front of her lays her Kindle, opened to the page of the book she was reading. Her eyes stayed glued and focused toward the screen, but no words made sense to her. Words from her Kindle seemed to listlessly flow out and slap her one by one, not even giving her time to breathe. Janette's head swirled as her hands gripped the edges of the Kindle tighter.
Her head flashed back to the memory of her mother the day before :
"Janette, you know your dad doesn't want you to sleep in the afternoon because he says it affects your sleep at night..."
"Honestly mum. If it were that simple, I'd be snoring every night."
"Oh come on, Jane ! It IS that simple! Just give you a pillow and you'll sleep through the whole night!" Her mother laughed it off.
Janette could hardly hold on anymore, "You treat this as a joke don't you? You treat me as a joke right? Nothing i say ever made sense to you right? Nothing i say ever registers in your head right?!" Her head boiling over with rage and anger. Disbelief and hurt washed throughout her like a giant tsunami.
"Don't talk to me with that attitude!"
"You don't even know what it does to me! Do you?!"
"Jane, I am warning you! Stop being rude!" Her mother snapped.
"And yet you still complain that I don't share my stories with you." With one harsh gaze, Janette stormed pass her mother, only to put on a large smile to face her cousins and grandparents, her heart filled with hurt and washed over with betrayal.
She gasped as much air as she could as she recalled that memory. Tears stinging in her eyes, she caught a glimpse of her physics test. The one she had nearly failed. She caught a glimpse of her psychology test, the one she had barely passed. Confusion, frustration, anger, rage, hurt, disbelief, vexation rushed through her like nicotine and numbed her completely.
A jingle of a bag and footsteps allowed her to prepare herself to be cheerful once more. In comes Amanda, with the gloomiest of faces. "Hell no! They forgot me totally! They didn't even put my name into the list! I hate this school! I bloodly hell hate the teachers here!"
Other than smiling and patting Amanda, Jane was lost for words. Her heart still swirling with all those emotions, and here she is trying to comfort Amanda. Her tears stinging behind her eyes as she continued to soothe Amanda. By the end of the lunch period, the library had grown louder, irritating and frustration Janette further than she would have imagined. Breathing calmly and methodically, she kept her cool - however Amanda did not. She had complained to Janette all lunch long. The bell's ring had pierced through Janette's ears that momentarily, she had gone deaf.
Her hands moving in an automatic fashion, Janette slowly packed her things. Amanda this time didn't wait for her. Amanda simply walked by her an headed towards the exit. "Manda, wait up." Jane knew it was loud enough for Amanda to hear her. But Amanda didn't even turn around.
"Manda," Jane said again, loudly. Still Amanda didn't turn around. By the time Amanda got to the exit, Amanda didn't even check if Janette was following her or not. She just left. She left Janette feeling alone again. Her parents took her as a joke, her teachers didn't understand her, she was failing her subjects and her own best friend ignored her. She was tired from her lack of sleep, and still haunted by past nightmares. Janette excused herself into the bathroom and ran into a cubicle.
"What the hell..." She whispered. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed quietly, the thought of suicide playing softly at the back of her mind...
So tell me about the rumours
Are they only rumours, or are they only lies?
biography
if only things remained like it did...
Jackie
what happened? i thought you said i could trust you?
yes, just call me Jackie. i'd prefer that.
i'm just the average everyday girl trying to make it through life.
smile :) its good to always have a smile on that face :)
dont tell me i'm crying. coz i'm not.
if you have nothing to say, then just leave.
-That's me. Accept it, Love it, Hate it. i dont care.
Falling out of a perfect dream
have you felt as if your world crashed right on top of you?
comments
you count down ten to one because when on zero you can smile
Funny how easily you crushed the trust
When it took you years to just build it.
affiliates
down the beaten track, along the river with an empty bank
